topshop assistant?!

Money spent!

Haha. Finally, I've found a top worth spending my precious cash on. Two tank tops from Topshop, $16 each, if you buy two you get a 20% discount. This sounds like an advertisement. Heh. They're not black, nor white! Amazing eh, as most of you know that I only seem to wear black or white tops. One's kinda turquoise, the other's yellow!

Anyways, I had lunch with Shaun first (thanks :]), then he went for practice and I walked up Orchard Road towards Wisma. It was hot, humid and horrible, and I was melting. Good thing I didn't run into anyone along the way I'm sure I looked awfully sweaty. Haha.

While I was browsing through the racks at Topshop, this fat ang mo woman approached me and asked

"Excuse me, do you have those shoes at the end in a small?"

"Erm, I don't work here! You could ask the guy over there."

Oh man was she embarrassed! Hahaha she laughed and we ended up talking a bit, she's from America and was getting stuff for her daughter.

How nice if Singaporeans could open up and be nicer, more friendly, and learn to laugh at themselves more. Loosen up people!

Going for my uncle's birthday dinner later. Urgh. It's Chinese food, and on top of that, vegetarian stuff. Somebody quick kidnap me now!

running round in a circle

Running round in a circle

That's what I feel like I'm doing with my guitar playing.
I'm stuck in a rut. The way to improve is to jam with other people hmm? Yeah, but I always feel like I'm not good enough (it's not being humble, it's the fucking truth.) Plus, I don't have anyone to jam with, no one of the same level (read: crap).

So if I don't jam with others, I don't improve, and if I feel I'm not good enough, I can't jam with others, and if I don't then I can't improve..

Get the picture? Argh it's a vicious, snapping, snarling circle and I can't kick it.

I've got riffs etc al, but I'm shy, too bloody shy and insecure to play them for others to listen to. I know, I know, let others listen and critique, and improve on it. But I don't think the shit I come up with is even good enough to let a kid who knows fuck all about music listen to. I really don't feel good playing for other people to hear, I get nervous and self-consious and then my playing gets affected and I play like shit. How the hell am I gonna get with a band and play and become the huge, worldwide rockstar huh?

Ok, kidding about the rockstar bit. Just how am I gonna play with a band if I'm so self consious? I can't even take that very first step.

See everybody. I'm not that happy carefree kid I may appear to be. I crack too, I'm so far from perfect it's not funny.


It's useless, so fucking useless. Maybe I should just quit.

hmm.

Haha. Somehow I feel (very, very selfishly, I might add) that I've lost out to electronic parts. HAHA ok I know I know, I'm being selfish and complaining for practically no reason. I shall shut up now. Heh. *zips mouth*

Anyways. It's sunday night and tomorrow's a HOLIDAY!! wahoo! I shall sleep in. Had trouble sleeping again last night, it's getting ridiculous.

Got new aviator shades yesterday, $16. I'm feeling annoyed and kinda guilty, spending money on myself, but, well, the shades were the first things I've bought for myself in a long time (excluding food, of course haha).

I wanna go shopping. More clothes please, I need it. Seriously. I can't remember the last time I got new clothes. No kidding here. Vouchers for Topshop, Zara, FCUK, Esprit, all welcome! Or cold hard cash, that's even better. Muahahah don't I sound materialistic, how sick.

What a shit day.

There was nothing to look forward to. Fucking chinese the whole day in school, more chinese tuition when I got home, and that was IT. Nothing good at all.
And I had to get off the comp. so bloody early,so I'm blogging thru my mobile again. The bill-and my father-is gonna kill me. Well there was fuck all to do on the computer anyway.
I sound so dissatisfied with life,and to tell the truth, I really am.Nothing to do I guess i shall stare at the ceiling yet again til I knock out. I'm lonely.

Behold the Lowest in the Level for Chinese!

Yes folks, look at me, look at me!! Lowest in the fucking level for bloody chinese midyear exams!!

I'm fucking screwed. I THOUGHT I'd do better. Maybe a 40 something. Obviously not. Twenty-fucking-seven point eight for chinese.

Argh. At least I got amused when I saw what Mrs Ng Hui Choo (don't like her she called me "noise-maker" during the musical! gah.) wrote on my english essay.

"Insightful, interesting and engaging to read."

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
I wrote about OLD PEOPLE! And everyone knows how I feel about old people. Lying through my teeth, to quote Shaun. Muahahahaha I should be a lawyer or something, since I just bullshit my way through anything and everything. Wahooo.

Viv, get better soon yeah? I really didn't mind waiting with you today. What are friends for huh! :)

goodnight goodnight

Goodnight, Goodnight

First, let's take a moment to laugh at Clara Lam Shu Yi, who caused great confusion between both of us when she muddled up My Chemical Romance's "Helena" and Hot Hot Heat's "Goodnight Goodnight".

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
nanny nanny poo poo.

Ok how childish. But seriously, 'nanny nanny poo poo' is such a cool kiddy word. It should be revived!

Exams are over and now it's PAPER CHECKING TIME. (cue ominus evil music). Honestly, that's as bad as the exams themselves! And we all know what the consequences are for me if I fail anything - sans chinese - so I shant type it out here and get all miserable and depressed.

Also, I need money. What's new huh? With $10 in my wallet it's not gonna last, I've got to top up my EZ link card. Bah. Money money money. I sound materialistic. I hate myself. How fucked up.

Thank you

Thank you

After a 2 hour nap I've woken up feeling absolutely contented and thankful...then I found I was running late. So a 15 minute shower and rush later,I'm blogging from my mobile in the car,cause I need to say stuff before the urge to goes away.

I was having this dream,in it was everyone who has helped me along this tough week or so. So here goes:

Thanks to Shaun,firstly,for being such a great guy. Thanks for being there for me when I've needed it most,and yes,I love you so much.

Thanks to The Muffins-Viv, for being such a sweetie,for being my 'study buddy', Nicole, for being so retarded!,and Shalini for joining me and not studying! (well, for some subjects. Biology, anyone?) Hehee.

To Su and Mun, for being there to crap around with..

and Denise. Even though I haven't seen you much lately,you put a smile on my face.
I love you all in every non-lesbiany way ever! :)

Wow that was uncharacteristically sentimental of me. Haha.

Thanks, everyone.

tamil

The word 'sex' in Tamil...

Ok I'm not being really grossly perverted.. Heh ok not more than usual anyway.
Thanks to Shalini, I now know that if you break up and literally translate one way to say "sex" in Tamil, you get

"Milk and fruit relationship."

HAHAHA.

Right now go up to a person of the opposite sex (or same sex, if you prefer) and say "Hi. I'm ---. I want to have milk and fruit relationship with you!!"

Go on. Go. Bye now.

here's why (I guess)

Here's why (I guess)

Stupid exams, I guess that's why I'm so bloody emo. Or not? I've been feeling so fucked up recently. Whatever. "Exam fever", as Vivien puts it.
It's so stupid, so dumb, so mundane to study for exams. Study, study study, cram your head full of useless information that hardly applies to every day life, and then you die.
We all end up the same in the end, ashes to ashes, dust to dust, no matter what you are- kings, presidents, beggars, thives, children...
So why do we bother so much anyway? If I were in my normal frame of mine I could probably argue this point with myself and settle it. But I'm not. I'm cynical, negative and emo at the moment.
My life is my life. If I want to fuck it up, isn't it my choice?

ARGH I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.

Don't you find life tiresome?

"Don't you find life tiresome?"

said a muffin on www.muffinfilms.com, titled bluebirds in spring"

then the other muffin replies "No."

so the first muffin goes "Let us part."

And I think I would be the first muffin. 'Cause life is tiresome sometimes, it really is. And I sound fucking emo but it's the way I feel now.

I wish I didn't have to go home. I wish I could stay out the whole night, sit in some place with lots of people, where I can just... just sit there and watch the world go by. Not talk a lot, just watch. Huh. I wish I wish I wish but it'll never happen.

Wouldn't it be cool to live in a bubble, underwater? It'd be so peaceful, so quiet in a way. That's what I think, anyhow. Feel free to disagree if you wish.


"I need your friends' numbers, what happens if one day you don't come home?"
"If I don't come home one day then, duh, I've run away"

wooo

Ngee Ann polytechnic's trying to woo students, I think. I received a copy of "hyper", which is some publication by their final year print and media studies students. Cool, isn't it? No idea where they got my name and address from, must be through my school records I guess.

Oh well, after my last post gets read and discovered, I'll have no need for a polytechnic! I'll probably be kidnapped by a hotshot movie director/producer, get whisked off to Hollywod and be offered millions to write his next blockbuster movie! After which I'll start a rocking band that'll blow your brains out, and tour the world!

Yessssssssssssssssssss. Fame and fortune, here I come!

blergh.

No surprise I feel more dead than alive

Well, I've been spending the whole day so far (almost) like a bookish nerd. How gross eh? Had math tuition in the morning, as usual, then went for lunch with Viv, bought some lilies for mum (Mothers' Day, coming up tomorrow, have you hugged your mother today? haha.)

Spent the whole afternoon reading "I'm King of the Castle", which I absolutely abhor.
Abhor, as in hate, abominate, spurn, disfavor, loathe, can't stand, deprecate, deplore, despise, dislike, disparage, object to, recoil from, deride, scorn, shudder at, shun, frown upon, detest...

Yes, marvel at my vocabularly. heh.

Anyway, in short, I hate that stupidass book.

~Brainwave!~

I shall invent an
ALTERNATE ENDING! (starts from page 25) to destress.

"Instead of throwing down a blob of plasticine with the note "I DONT WANT YOU HERE" to Kingshaw, Edmund Hooper, the derranged, maniacal psycho-idiot that he is (bu is still, by far, better than Charles Kingshaw, who is a coward and a sissy in every sense of the word-but I digress) Hooper pulls out from under his bed the carefully stashed away uzi machine gun, positions himself at his bedroom window and takes careful aim.

First he takes out Mrs Helena Kingshaw, that gushing, simpering tart. She was always a man-chaser anyway. After she explodes in a bloody mess, he knows he has to act quickly as his father, Joseph Hooper the second (or third I can't remember and can't be stuffed to) and C. Kingshaw have been alerted. He guns down his father, and starts laughing dementedly as the sissy Kingshaw starts bawling, then begins to run.

Hooper pulls out a shotgun and decides to have a little fun. He aims for Kingshaw's head as the doomed boy runs in spastic circles around the dead bodies of the two single parents and pulls the trigger. 'PAFFTT'. The shotgun rings out, mixing with Kingshaws wild sobs, which are cut short as Kingshaw's head is blown off. "Score!" Thinks Hooper to himself. He then pulls out a vial of cyanide (as the hero/villian has to die cleanly) and swallows it, snuffing himself out effectively."

THE END!!

--------
and all this is only going to take up.. well 2 pages at the most. Which will thus make "I'm King of the Castle" only twenty-seven pages long and will be so much easier to study. Plus it would make the book oh so very exciting and it may even be made into a blockbuster film!

Ok I think spending 4+ hours holed up in my room reading the idiotic book has meddled somewhat with my sanity. If my sanity was even there to begin with.

I fucked up my chinese oral exammmmmmmmm! damn. (hey! that rhymes hehe) Still annoyed about that. No school today, the Nazi Camp decided to declare it a school holiday cause they did well in the SYF competitions.

argh

How annoying. While I was having lunch I thought of something I wanted to blog about, quite badly. And now, I can't remember it at all!

Damn damn damn my memory.

Argh chinese oral.

I fucked up my chinese oral exam. Then again, what's new eh?

I'll tell you what's new. This time, it's affected me. Normally I'll think 'chinese oral, failed? Well ok, I don't care.'
But this time I DO care. For some weird, unexplainable reason I suddenly care about my chinese oral exam, and it's depressing me, I'm certain to fail, and fail badly at that. I'm not just saying that, it's the sad, fucked up truth. Sigh.

Go vote

http://www.soundcheck.net.au/showentry.jsp?fvEntry=560

spannk you very much. :]

exams. gahh!

Exams, exams, exams

Somewhere in that title should be
"OH NO! PANIC! HAVEN'T STUDIED ENOUGH. BARELY STUDIED AT ALL! PANIC PANIC PANIC DOOM DOOM DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!"

ok maybe that's overreacting a tad too much. (actually, no, it's the complete and absolute truth gahh) So right now, I should go offline, switch off the computer and study till my eyes fall out of my head and I'll have to pick off the dust and bits of fluff from my room floor before squashing them back into my head. haha.


Fuck that, studying. utter rubbish.


English and Chinese paper one today. Can you believe that I did my essay on the topic "Elderly people are more of a burden than a blessing", and that I actually said that they were a blessing? Well, what was I meant to do, it was obvious we were meant to say they were a blessing. Maybe when I get my essay back I'll put it up here just to amuse everyone. Nic arguing on behalf of the oldies. Strange but true dearies.

OLD PEOPLE YOU OWE ME ONE!

And well. Chinese. The dreaded CHINESE. The less said the better. I just wish it applied for writing too haha. The less written the better? Well if that's the case, I should be scoring nearly full marks. I didn't even make the minimum word limit for the composition part, 122 words when the minimum was 300.

Failure is imminent my friends.


words words words. they're just that. they can mean so much to someone, everything to someone. yet they can mean nothing to the person saying them.
Ooh. So emo. just some rubbish that popped out.

Pinch and a punch...

I hate nostalgia. Sometimes when I hear a song, I get reminded of where i was when the song came out. Like now, some song is playing on Gold90fm, and i can't remember the title or who sang it,but i know i heard it at Celeste's house in melb. Argh.
Anyway, i'm bored,and damn i can't sleep. I guess i'm nocturnal.
Wish there was someone awake whom i could talk to at this unearthly hour. Everyone's asleep. I shall lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling lighted up by my phone. Yup, i'm blogging thru my mobile.